Be happy, be flexible, believe in yourself, be positive and be open to new possibilities

mikeandmike

 

About 6 years ago my house was flooded and the company that came  in to clean up didn’t do the job properly, needless to say my house developed black mold unbeknownst to me.  I kept on getting respiratory infections and bronchitis. Three years ago I got so sick I had to move out of my house which I did.  Long story short, I have developed a fungus in my lungs which the doctors say the only thing they can do is to control the symptoms.  In the mean time I’m trying to get on with my life the best I know how.  I’ve been sick twice this year and hate it.  Yesterday, I had an appointment, and afterwards I said to myself, I’m going to get rid of this junk by myself.  SO now I’m going to be open to new possibilities, be positive, and  believe in myself.  I’ve been thinking about going organic but the cost has kept me away.  But this is me I’m taking about and I want to live another 30-40 years.

First of all I’ve  been drinking diet pop since I was a teenager and there’s so much junk in it. All of the food we eat are processed with chemicals and they put tons of toxic chemicals on the food we eat. This is what I want to do, cleanse these nasty toxins from my body, this I have to find out how. Then I’m going to introduce only fresh and organic food to my diet and get a message once a month. My friend Kim does massages and it’s really surprising how many toxins she gets out and finally I’m going to exercise this old body. I don’t want to look like a young skinny gal but I just want to feel better.

I am so lucky to be able to work with the people I do. We are an awesome team. I’m hoping that I can receive some support in the new life style I want to obtain. One of the girls in particular I work with is so awesome. She’s young enough to be my daughter and I couldn’t love her more. She went through hell and last year and is such an inspiration to me and others. Part of her treatment was to stay away from all of those preservatives, chemicals, and you name it. She is eating healthy, and is doing wonderful. I feel like I got my friend back. She’s canning and eating organic food and is doing awesome. I tried doing it a while back but really wasn’t motivated. But now I am, want to feel better and get this fungus out of my system. It sucks when you cannot breathe, get out of breath, get tired out so fast and have trouble exercising. Get rid of ingesting yourself with those nasty chemicals. Be a label reader. You’ll be surprised. Even chemicals are put in your seasonings You are what you eat, so stop eating those chemicals and read those labels, I’ve started doing that and I’ve also ordered some Wildtree seasonings which are all organic.

I’m going to take baby steps but wish me luck! In 4 months I’m going to China to see my son and I want to be healthy and happy!

Please let know what you think or if you have any suggestions or even questions. I’ll do my best. In the meantime, Be happy, be flexible, believe in yourself, be positive and be open to new possibilities!

Take care,
Momma Bird Peggy

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What does loss mean to you

There are so many different types of loss.  What does loss mean to you?

Loss can mean so many things,

  • Loss can be losing a game, temporally losing your phone, your keys or your purse.  I remember those were the three things my mom was always losing, her glasses, her keys and her purse and I swore I’m never going to do that.  Well, I think 95% of the things I swore I’d never do that my mom did I am now doing and it makes me laugh.
  • Loss of a spouse or partner or child; sometimes it may take years to get over the grief of your loss if ever; it’s frustrating to me that you’re expected to suck it up and be back to normal within a few weeks after your loss and you may lose friends simply because they don’t understand the grief process and become impatient with you.
  • Loss from a natural disaster like in 2007 my house flooded and it was a huge loss for me both financially and emotionally.
  •  Loss when your children leave home; i.e. my son just graduated from college and is now working; he may come to visit but that’s about it.  Even though he went away to college that was only temporary because he came for summer vacation and holiday vacations but now he’s gone and won’t be living with my anymore.
  • Loss of a parent.   The death of a parent may really change your perspective on life.  When I lost my dad, I was 21 and he was 52 and I was young and really didn’t realize the full impact it had on me.  Whereas when I lost my mom, she was 83 and I was 54 and that really changed me.  In the last 10 years, I’ve lost my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law, my mother, my Aunt Harriet (mom’s sister), and Edward whom I was married to.  This has had a huge impact on how I view my life.  I think about my own mortality differently.  What I would have done and said differently.  Could’ve would’ve…Regrets of things I would’ve said and didn’t have the chance.  My Grandmother Laura died 42 years ago and I still miss her like it was yesterday and I have more regrets than anyone of things I wish I would’ve said and didn’t. At least I had time with Edward before he died and we spent time discussing, apologizing and appreciation of our life together (good and not so good).  There were 2 months in-between the deaths of my mom and Aunt Harriet.  OMG I still miss them so much.  But they are all still in my heart!
  • I think the worst type of loss is the traumatic type which is sudden, unexpected or violent.  On December 16, 2012, we lost our baby girl Willow who was a smooth collie and the sweetest and best dog that ever lived.  She was actually perfect; she was shelter dog who was smart, minded me, never had any accidents in the house, was so loveable and couldn’t have been a better girl.  She loved life and spent every minute enjoying it with me and Michael.  She was hit by a car and every morning I think about her and miss her so much.  I had never lost a pet like that before, it’s so devastating.  I don’t think most people don’t understand the grief I am going through but Willow is still in my heart and I still love her so much.

There are so many types of losses; i.e. a death of a loved one, a marriage or friendship that ends. health issues, you lose a pet or maybe you may even lose your job., or the loss of a home through disaster or financial distress.

Easier said than done but you do really have to address these issues.  Avoiding or denying these issues will only prolong them.  Turning other distractions will only make things worse in the long run.  Because everyone is different what works for one may not work for another.  But one thing that helps is to get through whatever it is that we need to get through.

Some may talk to a friend, others may write in a journal, some may get into a support group,  others may see a counselor or Psychologist, seek a religion group, expand your creative side in hobbies or social outlets or maybe even do some volunteer work.

The only thing that I know is that do whatever is best for you.  For me it’s a combination of things and you must learn for yourself what that  combination is.  For me, I make some goals, where do I want to be?  Then construct your roadmap and trails and errors and pretty soon you’ll be there.  Remember try to be happy, be flexible, believe in your, be  positive and be open to new possibilities!!!

There are a lot of peaks and valley’s and tell yourself, yes I can and you’ll be surprised what you can accomplish!

Adjusting to Being Alone

I’m so proud of my son. In May he graduated with honors from college.  On August 1st, he left for China to teach English for a year. And now I’m all alone and excited for the next part of my life.

This past year has been a whirlwind.  Everything I hoped could happen, far exceeded what actually happened.  My son is the world to me. and is the most important person in the world to me. I couldn’t love him any more than I do.

Two years ago I suggested that he quit his job and concentrate on his schooling which he did and has paid off so much.  Immediately after graduating from RCTC with his Associate of Arts he immediately started summer school at Winona and received an A in the history of  East Asia (China/Japan/Korea).

His first semester at Winona State University he was asked to join Golden Key International Honor Society which opened so many doors for him.  He put so much effort into his schooling and studied hard, which has really paid off. in so many ways.  A year ago, Golden Key paid for him to go to an international convention in Atlanta, Georgia, which was awesome for him.   He then received a letter to attend the Presidential Inauguration in January, which was awesome and he had a great time.

His senior semester was spent working many long and hard nights studying so hard.  Michael took 2 semesters of Chinese and his Chinese Professor suggested applying for a job teaching English in Shenzhen, China  which he  applied for and a job was offered to him and he would start his job in August.  He graduated with honors in May, and then kept studying so hard for his graduate exam, which he took two weeks before he left for China.  It was a whirlwind getting ready to leave, getting his passport, his Chinese Visa and going through the medical travel clinic getting his shots, etc. and then packing.  Typical Michael, instead of concentrating on his clothing, shoes, and necessities I caught him deciding which books to bring and thankfully he accepted my gift of a Kindle.

Knowing he was going to forget things, he’d just have to learn the hard way.  On the way to the airport, we were halfway there, Michael said OMG I forgot the charger for my laptop.  I took a deep breath and said okay I’ll drop you off at the airport and then go home and get your charger and in case I don’t get back in time, at least you won’t miss your flight.  Then I went home, got the charger and got back to the airport and barely had enough time to say bye, then he was gone.   I didn’t even had to pay for parking because I wasn’t there that long.  Then it hit me, he’s gone and China is on the other side of the world.  The next couple weeks were really tough for me, Michael was working 12 hour days – 7 days a week working on getting his Chinese Teaching Certification.  College had helped prepare him for this and I am so proud of him.

It has been so awesome to watch him grow into the mature, responsible, smart man that he is.

I have so much pride seeing my son become the man he has become.  And yet, my job is over. He has become everything that I dreamt he could be and more.  I don’t feel like I’m a mom anymore because my job is done. But now I’m all alone. I’m having trouble adjusting to this life.   Now it’s time for me to start living my life.  I’ve spent so much time dedicating myself to my family that now I’m alone; I have to start a new life for myself.

I know there are a lot of people out there where their kids grow up and are alone like me. So the purpose of this blog is to communicate with other mom’s with empty nests and help each other get through this and make new friendships.

If anybody has any tips or suggestions as to what helps you cope with this life change, please comment and let me know.

I’d greatly appreciate it.

Momma Bird,

Peggy